There he sits. The man with the hat, a boater style today, different from his regular cowboy look, leather coat, blue jeans, and brown loafers sits outside the Starbucks where I’m currently checking up on my routine very important websites. From my habitual opening and closing of tabs for my favorites in their own special order, I smile as I think of the profound impact I as a consumer am having of these sites. I’m sure they’re grateful.
In the midst of my revelry, I happened to look up and note this man pulling a cart to the “20 Minute” parking sign in front of the store. The cart sits in the parking spot, leaving considerable room on either side of its wheels. Does a cart count as a vehicle? That may be entirely dependent on what type of cart we’re talking about.
This one is especially notable. I noticed it right away the first time I ever saw it, and it’s grown no less eye-catching though I’m going on 6 or 7 sightings. It’s an odd cart. It looks like a big tricycle with regular sized bike tires, a horse cart-like seat, handlebars, and then, most intriguing of all, an odd pole coming out the front. This pole needs something to attach to in order to complete the apparatus, but there’s nothing there. The man with the hat has pulled the cart himself by this pole to its current resting place. It looks to me like it’s trying to be a stagecoach of sorts, minus the real coach, but as if a really small horse is supposed to pull it. While this is immediately less glorious than a stagecoach with John Wayne fighting off Indians (I mean, Native Americans), it’s also a lot harder to visualize. How small is this horse? Does it qualify as a horse?
Then a look at the three signs decorating the cart clarify what’s missing: aDogWalk4u.com.
A dog. A dog is supposed to be bridled to this cart and pull the rider around.
I must pause here and allow you to feel the space of silence that I feel every time I see this cart…
Do you feel it? Do you feel this apparent business venture sinking in? Do you feel yourself shaking your head first in disbelief and then with a kind of decisive “Oh, that’s just weird.”
I happen to have the good fortune to watch a father and son going through this right now as they sip their coffee, staring out the window in a sort of surprised confusion. What in the world…?
Just previously, a woman who’d been sitting outside with her lovely German shepherd watched him roll up, sat for a minute or two then abruptly left, pulling her dog along quickly, looking uncomfortable. “I would never allow Theo to go through that.”
And I understand. Because IT’S AWKWARD.
ADogWalk4u.com, really?
Before a distinct tinge of pity sets in, I always go through a few phases. First, what benefit could a dog possibly receive pulling its owner/s around? Is this supposed to be better exercise? “Hey honey, just look how Max is panting! Good boy!”
Second, what dog owners would want to convey the notion that they are in fact too lazy to actually walk their dog themselves? Has it gotten that bad? Have the midnight munchies, along with long work hours, and that foot surgery led to this moment? “You know, we’ve been cooped up inside all day, let’s go out so the dog can walk us!”
The last phase I wade through concludes at last that no pet owner is going to let their “who’s a good boy/girl?” parade around like that so that observers can shout at them, “Animal Cruelty, ever heard of PETA?!” Especially if it’s a cat.
Of course as soon as I form this opinion, I inevitably find myself part of a mental debate over which animals it’s okay to have pull me around. A horse is obviously allowed. But what about a donkey? A goat? A cow? But not a calf? Probably should avoid the pig. Yet, something about a fluffy, panting poodle dragging me around seems equally as wrong.
But the man with the hat clearly doesn’t agree. In fact, he’s advertising. Now, I have never actually seen a dog attached to this cart, Thank God, which could mean a few things. Perhaps he doesn’t actually own a dog and therefore doesn’t understand the ethical dilemma at all. Or maybe he does own a dog, recognizes the truth, and wouldn’t dream of using it himself, except to make money off other people.
I’ve seen him inside the Starbucks on other occasions, cart sitting ominously outside, and while I go through my mental debating, he just sits in one of the comfy, leather chairs and fiddles away on his computer (like me). Is he working on aDogWalk4u.com? Is he putting the finishing touches on his new business venture? How is that going? However it’s going, he appears to need the time to hash this all out—I overhear him saying he’d been there till closing the previous night. Then I think, does he live alone? Does he have a family? I mostly just really want to know if he has a dog.
So far, everyone else I observe as they observe this cart seems to find themselves suddenly a part of their own ethical dilemma. Should we despise this man? Should we feel sorry for him? Should we laugh? Most passersby simply try to ignore the whole thing with only a quick glance there and away. They block it from their minds because no one really wants to have to think about it.
Today, midway through my conflicted thoughts, all at once indignant and mocking, with that hint of pity, I watch the man with the hat get up from his iron chair outside the coffee shop. He walks slowly to the cart and examines it from the side. He reaches down to adjust the sign. He looks at it a little longer, then undoes the tie to the “20 Minute” parking sign. I see the tie is a dog leash attached the pole. He backs the cart out of the spot, pulling it along by the leash, and walks out of my window. The back of the seat proclaims as it goes, “aDogWalk4u.com!”
