How now...

Are you an educator?

Are you tired?

Are you sick?

Are these three strangely synonymous?

Does the "sick and tired" persist on your off-duty?

As Lucille Ball once asked so eloquently, do you "pop out at parties and feel unpoopular?"

Thank goodness there are little breaks here and there to save us from utter decomposition, but in the mean times, endurance is of the essence. In those wearisome class periods, end-of-the-quarters, and semester finals, the following ideas may come in handy.

Survival Tip #3: Multifaceted to Fit.

1. Use solid-colored drink containers for whatever beverage makes you happy.

2. Bulk up on snacks, I mean, bring lots of snacks on which to bulk up on...never mind.

3. For fielding those inevitable futile questions, use the "Five Finger Sign," a simple open hand up in the face of the curious terrorist.

Regular forms of said futility:

• "Can I have more time on this assignment? I was sick, my internet mysteriously broke, my grandma died, and then my goldfish too."

• "Can I turn in these assignments from last semester? Last school year? Cause the same class is offered this year too-I'm just not in it, but I was."

• "Can you arbitrarily change my grade even though I've done nothing to merit this senseless act? How about if my mother comes in and threatens you and says things that make no sense? Do higher authorities have veto-rights over your gradebook?"

Sometimes "No" just doesn't work; the "Five Finger" is a little more believable. Plus, it saves

on the voice and gives you time to ponder things like, "I veto YOU."

4. The Grand Finale, the "Go-to"

Sick and tired? Clearly, you need to lie down and just go to sleep. Right now. No veto.